Funny how difficult this day is to remember - the specific date. October 7, 1998 is our wedding day, our anniversary. County Courthouse, San Francisco. Lunchtime. I remember that because after getting married I went back to work. Romantic, huh? In fact, everything about me has been "back to work", "at work", "going to work". I think I thought I was put on this earth to work. Everything about me was work. Through work I have met extraordinary people; traveled to seemingly unreachable places; enjoyed music, culture, and friendships that have lasted my adult life. And, through work, in work, I have hidden.
June 1993 I was introduced to "Keiser". He was going to teach me to in-line skate. I was a 'quad' skater; a beach dance skater. Having observed the new 'in line' skates on the Venice Beach boardwalk, I was curious and intrigued. Keiser was a Comedian, an in-line skate racer, and a Tech Rep for Rollerblade. He was also going to be my skate instructor. After a couple skate-path outings with him I was hooked - on in-line and on him. This was the time of beepers...I beeped him all day asking for, and confirming, our skate hook-ups during which we would go from Santa Monica to Manhattan Beach and back. We really did not speak much; I was crouched behind him, nose to booty, following in his stride. Keiser had a long, elegant extended stride. He also had great balance, tenacity, rhythm and endurance. But it was his ability to hang in silence that I began to enjoy and yearn for. Calm, quiet, present, resilient, ready. Our friendship grew into love, grew into partnership, grew into family.
Ironically, I was not working when I met him. For a short window of time I was not hiding...behind work at least. Keiser saw me.
Keiser and I have been together for 23 years. Today, October 7, marks 18 years married. Because we both come from families of serial 'marriers', our tenure alone is remarkable. But what I am most proud of, most appreciative of, is having found someone with whom I have been able to be me, and to be seen: to grow, to open up, to fail, to triumph, to laugh, to cry, to eat, to travel, to love. In turn, I have given my best to be all the same for him. We've 'gone outside our marriage', we've struggled through near separation, we've felt fear and anger like most do. But we have worked through all the crap, learned to 'get over ourselves', pressed through challenges and gained perspective to arrive at what is really important: how much love we have for one another and how deep it goes. I attribute this to our shared skater skills: balance, tenacity, rhythm and endurance.
Happy Anniversary Keiser. I'm honored and proud to be part of us.